Undomestic Goddess

November Reflection

Although I have not always had time for it, reading has always been a passion and hobby of mine. A few summers ago, I finished an easy-read by one of my favorite authors, Sophie Kinsella, called The Undomestic Goddess. (Sorry if I ruin the story by explaining the plot). This romantic comedy of a book tells the story of a high-profile London professional that has a nervous breakdown due to her hectic and stressful lifestyle and unexpectedly flees the city life to enjoy the calmness of the countryside. While keeping her identity and whereabouts a secret, she disguises herself by acting the role of a housekeeper, although she has no clue, in fact, how to be a housekeeper. Throughout the book, Kinsella tells the hilarious tale of how the main character figures out how to become a respectable housekeeper, even though simple household tasks were way out of her comfort zone to start. The reader also sees how the main character finds fulfillment in these tasks and how she grows in ways she never thought she could throughout the process. A few years later- I look back at the book and realize this is now my life.

Chores like cooking and cleaning have never been my strong point, and I normally try to avoid doing these things as much as humanly possible. At home, I rush, rush, and rush and I NEVER make time to clean or cook. They are usually placed in the last lines of any to-do list that I make; so you could say it was never one of my top priorities. What I have found that during my time in South Africa thus far, is that God has put me in positions where I have been doing these things- a lot. I have become the master of doing dishes, perfected the art of folding clothes, and even been acting as lunch lady: cooking, baking and serving food for others. It is funny the way God works; to see what ways he chooses to humble us. He is definitely working through my imperfections and frustrations and has allowed me to learn from others while making special relationships with those who have been able to teach me. So in this reflection, I want to share a few recent stories that have highlighted the ‘undomestic goddess’ in me and how I am growing through attempting very tiny things like dishes or cooking.

Baking at the Sunflower House:

On a normal Monday, a few weeks back, I went to the local children’s hospice where I volunteer every Monday. I was doing the morning dishes like I always do and Michelle asked to talk to Anne and I (another volunteer from Germany) in her office. When we went in, she handed us this magazine filled with recipes and she told us that she wanted us to bake muffins that day for the kid’s afternoon snack. Great, I thought. I like to bake – but then again, I am used to baking things from a Betty Crocker box. Anne and I looked at each other, said we would do it, and off we went. This is where the trouble began.

First, the recipe was completely in Afrikaans. Granted I am trying to learn the language, but there was no way I was going to be able to decipher the entire recipe. We luckily got someone to translate the recipe for us into English, but I have come to find that when you translate something from one language to another, things tend to get ‘lost in translation’. So there we were with a sort-of recipe and we went off to find our ingredients. We were then told that we didn’t have the exact ingredients from the recipe to make the muffins (including the main ingredient), but that we should use what we had in the kitchen and improvise. Oh great, I thought - if there is one thing that scares me the most when cooking or baking, it is improvising or tweaking the recipe.

Next, I find that it is completely frustrating that the United States uses its own measuring system while the rest of the world uses the same metric system. This recipe called for milliliters instead of ounces and cups – so again I had no concept of how much of the ingredients to put in – and then we had to multiply that by 4 (to make enough). Improvising due to the lack of measuring utensils, we improved and worked with what we had and used small medicine cups to measure out milliliters out of all the ingredients. When we finally had all the ingredients together and measured, we put the mixture together, but something did not look right. It looked all too runny and the consistency did not seem right so we added and added things to it until it looked right and finally said- “hey, let’s just try it!”

So with our eyes closed and fingers crossed, we put the first batch of muffin batter in the oven. Forty-five minutes later, we pulled out fresh muffins that still seemed a little wet in the middle. When we finally decided that the muffins were done, about an hour later, we pulled them out and took the first taste. They were actually good! So, we made the rest of the muffins. The muffins were all finished and cooled when we gave the kids them for their snack, and they seemed to really enjoy them. It is such a great feeling when you know you are a part of creating a smile on a child’s face even though they have no idea you made them. I was just overjoyed the next day when I found out that none of my babies got sick after eating them – We had fun creating the muffins, the kids enjoyed eating them, and no one got sick: Success!

Kitchen at APD:

Unlike many of the other South African YAGMs, I have and will continue to rotate volunteer worksites about every two months to expose myself to many different organizations in Bloemfontein. At the beginning of November, my primary worksite became a center working with persons with disabilities. I have to admit I was a bit discouraged at the beginning since I had started to make deep relationships at my previous worksites, but I saw this as a new opportunity to try something different and meet different people so I remained optimistic. So on my first day I came in with an eager volunteer’s heart and a big smile and was handed a broom and a dust bin. You could only imagine what was going through my head, but if that’s where they needed me – then that was what I would do. At the end of the day, I ended up in the kitchen where I have stayed the past few weeks.

I have to admit the first week wasn’t pretty – I think I peeled and cut up to 3 huge bags of carrots, my fingers were permanently orange, and I always got embarrassment and frustration when I flung carrots around the kitchen when cutting them into small pieces. Cutting peppers, lettuce, pumpkin, and onions was even a chore for me, but I was persistent in trying my best and the ladies were kind in showing me how they cut the various vegetables for the different dishes. I can’t count the number of times I cut my hands cutting things – I seem to wear permanent band-aids on my hands. But as the weeks have gone by, the two pairs of women have increasingly given me bigger and bigger tasks to do – which to some might be very simple and novice tasks, but for me, felt like a personal victory in kitchenland. The ladies began to trust me more and appreciated my hard efforts. Now, they allow me to flour and fry chicken by myself (even though I burnt myself on the first piece I put in the frying pan) and they let me make my own salad creations. They are teaching me Sesotho along the way, I have had the opportunity to read the Bible to them during tea time and we are starting to give each other hugs when I leave volunteering. Last month, the thought of working in the kitchen would not have been a comfortable idea for me- at all, given how I feel so incompetent to do anything. Now that I have tried it, I have put those insecurities behind me and instead, I feel a sense of worth knowing that I am preparing and serving meals for the special people that I have come to get to know at the center.

I think the best part of my ‘undomestic goddess’ experience is that, like the main character of the book, I am finding such fulfillment in what I am doing and I am growing so much in the process. I continuously put myself outside my comfort zone and make myself do things that I feel uncomfortable doing. Even though it is only making muffins or cutting vegetables, throwing myself into these situations has allowed me to make myself say ‘yes, I can do this’ instead of feeling inadequate, looking at situations from the outside and being afraid to jump in. In addition, I am learning to laugh at myself more. As I continue to fling carrots around the room, get soaked while doing the dishes and drop things on the floor, I have learned that I cannot be prideful of such silly things. I have faults and imperfections and I am trying to learn how to let go of my constant quest for perfection. Last, I am really learning to become interdependent with the people I work alongside. Learning the metric system from my German counterpart or learning how to cut vegetables from my fellow kitchen workers has really allowed me to depend on others’ skills in order for my success. While these are small examples, I am thinking of them as baby steps as I continue to throw myself into other situations. I want to maintain the ‘yes I can’ attitude, continue to laugh at myself, and depend on others to teach me things that I do not know. I am just so thankful for these humbling God-given experiences as I continue to learn and grow every day, and I just encourage all of you to throw yourself out of your comfort zone more often and try something new, laugh at yourself a little more and let go of your imperfections, and continue to open your ears to others and listen to what they have to teach you. Trust this ‘undomestic goddess’ – as you do these things, you’ll find the fulfillment in the small things of life and you’ll never ever be the same.